"(Not a) Toy Capsules" is part of Lauren Lesley's ongoing artistic investigation into childhood-onset obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and its connection to memory, control, and repetition. The drawing depicts a pile of small plastic capsules like those found in children's vending machines, each containing real antidepressant pills, fluoxetine (Prozac) and sertraline (Zoloft), which are commonly prescribed to treat OCD. The varying dosages mirror the frequent adjustments made during childhood treatment while the body and mind are still developing rapidly. Rendered in soft graphite tones, the subdued atmosphere alludes to side effects of long-term SSRI use, such as brain fog, emotional blunting, and fatigue. These objects that once represented play and imagination, now symbolize an early experience of medicinal dependency and the brain's search for balance among the dissolving boundaries between treatment, disorder, and self.